The birds sang as the wind blew gently in the warm summer breeze,

shadowed in abundance of greenery, towered by whispering trees.

We walked together through the wild meadow, filled with blades of green,

I say you’re a true beauty of mother nature, the sweetest thing I’d ever seen.

I kissed your lips, then you placed your head on my shoulder,

I say Wherever life takes us, I’ll be there for you, even when the world gets older.

We make a pact between the deep blue sky and the beautiful terrain,

I say You are my world, you make my heart race, so crazy, so crazy insane.

That’s why I feel better when I am with you,

That’s why I feel better when I am with you.

The sun began to set into a golden glow,

I say girl, you’ve captured my heart, captured my soul.

We know this space is our special place,

I tell You baby, you have such a beautiful face.

We embrace the scenery, it brings real peace and joy,

I say you are my girl and I am your boy.

We make a pact between the deep blue sky and the beautiful terrain,

I say You are my world, you make my heart race, so crazy, so crazy insane.

That’s why I feel better when I am with you,

That’s why I feel better when I am with you.

Your eyes are as deep as the bluest ocean, With a smile that’s brighter than the sun,

Our time together, has only just begun.

We make a pact between the deep blue sky and the beautiful terrain,

I say You are my world, you make my heart race, so crazy, so crazy insane.

That’s why I feel better when I am with you,

That’s why I feel better when I am with you.

Our footsteps reach the sand,

Still Together hand in hand.

That’s why I feel better with you,

That’s why I feel better with you.

When the dark curtains that envelop our household are strung back by your cheeks.

Your smile the only illumination of my day.

Imperfect teeth cutting through jagged words and flailing fists.

The laugh, by no means angelic, not the laugh penned by romance authors,

a laugh of raw, unfiltered happiness, alone in a void of misery.

A reminder of hope in a seemingly hopeless world.

A smile of childish naivety, striking through the reaching fingers of approaching adulthood.

No longer wholly innocent.

A smile that contradicts many of the daily emotions you fight.

Yet is the singular thing that carries you through.

Reminding you of moments worth living for.

Reminding me that you, our memories together, good and bad.

The smiles and laughs that we shared through childhood, will always be worth holding out for.

When I’m down or feeling flat,

I think about a pug in a hat.

When I’m tired and full of sighs,

I think of hedgehogs with goggly eyes.

When I toss and turn ‘cause I can’t sleep,

I think of pink fields with purple sheep.

When I’m fed up of all the knocks,

I think of lizards in fluffy socks.

When I can’t get up ‘cause I’m too low,

I think of penguins playing tick tack toe.

When I wish I’d never been born,

I think of squirrels chewing ears of corn.

When I feel I just can’t do a thing,

I think of frogs decked out with bling.

When I sit hoping this feeling passes,

I think of parrots wearing reading glasses.

When I start to think I’ve lost the plot,

I think of a bulldog asleep in a cot.

When I’m mad or feeling sour,

I think of hippos dancing on a flower.

All these things can make me grin,

Like a cow playing chess on a wheelie bin.

So next time you’re down or feeling flat,

Remember to think of a pug in a hat.

I feel better when I am….. ….sat at the piano at the end of a day

When people have poured out their distress.

We share this pain through words and music.

It drenches me, leaving me soaked and weighed down.

I let these feelings flow through my fingers,

Bypassing the conscious mind.

Chords and melodies arise from the deep,

Finding form for the unformed,

Expression for the inexpressible.

Notes come like a torrent,

Building up in power and intensity,

Breaking through the dam of my defences,

Cleansing me, refreshing me,

Ready for another day.

This is my medicine,

My way to survive the merging of minds.

I am not just the therapist, I too need this process,

Coming together in a healing river,

Then diverging,

Finding our own calmer waters.

Rain, Guns ‘n’ Roses and Wispas I’ve bitten.

Perspectives I got from not living in Britain.

Dave Gilmour solos and Beatles CDs.

These are some things that can help me be me.

That slip of a girl that sings blues deep inside her.

Tim Burton movies with Winona Ryder.

Sonnets, acrostics, pantoums, villanelles:

Just some more things that aren’t totally hell.

When there’s letters

From the bailiff

And the D Dubya P

I simply persist

With the things on my list

And things continue to be.

Greggs apple danish, with less fruit than icing.

Ideas that tempt me like apples, enticing.

Snakes in the garden that tell me what’s what.

There’s a few more I have never forgot.

Trying new things and the joys I discover.

Bob Dylan songs that are easy to cover.

Words that fall nimbly to pre-ordered slots.

It seems that I’m happy with rather a lot.

When I’m hunting

For the happy

And it’s all gone wrong,

These things can remind me I already found it.

I had it all along.

You looked stunning as you danced to the music without a care,

In skinny jeans, a Rolling Stones T shirt, and a pretty rose. in your long blonde hair,

Your loveliness struck me like lightening,

Your chemistry was hypnotising,

I watched you laughing as you danced,

I couldn’t take my eyes off you, I was so entranced.

Captivated by every step you made,

I moved closer and closer as the music played.

We danced and you let me hold your body tight,

Nothing else mattered, I knew it was love at first sight.

I took the rose from your hair, Put it between my teeth,

Tickled your nose with its soft white petals and its tiny green leaves.

Your eyes gazed into mine

Wow You looked God damn fine.

The music slowed our bodies began to sway,

I looked above and said Thank You Lord, then I began to pray.

You put your number in my phone,

You Said call me, when you get home.

You read my silly love texts, I kept sending,

The rest is history, like a fairy-tale ending.

We got the keys to our new place, even took out a loan,

I Carried you over the thresh hold, worked our butts off, to keep a good home.

I tell you every day, you mean more than anything on this earth and more,

its only you girl that I’d die for, it’s you I adore.

I’ll say I’ll love you even if your eyes start to wrinkle and your hair turns silvery grey,

I’ll love you the best way I can and I’ll try to Keep it that way.

I’ll rub your legs if they begin to ache with pain

I’ll do anything for you, even dance naked in the rain.

And I’d give anything to be with you forever,

Because it’s about the love you give when we’re together.

And One day I’ll pray I’ll marry you and if you finally say I do,

I’ll give you my life forever more because I’m truly in love with you.

If we’re lucky to hear the patter of tiny feet

I’ll make sure I’ll work hard to make ends meet.

I’ll tell you every day, I’ll love you until the world stops turning.

I’ll treat you with respect and I’ll never stop learning,

How to love you.

My Precious Rose.

Sacred rock of stolen starlight,

Echoes of flames from distant giants,

Behind the curtain,

This is where you live.

Miles of air lick cheeks cold

Flames stir up as breath is born

Frozen oceans greet your lips and softly, not quite silently, they melt into a final kiss.

This is where you live.

I feel better when I feel like me, when I feel completely free.

When my movements flow, in that moment I know, that I’m free.

Free to be me.

I feel better when the music plays, it helps me move, it makes me sway.

I feel better when the rhythms surround, as my body is enveloped in sound.

For that brief moment in time, my body again becomes mine.

I feel better when I’m with good friends, funny and caring amazing friends.

Tea, cake and dog walks too, it’s incredible what laughter can do.

Chat and chocolate can make things right, I enjoy the moment and brief respite.

I feel better when hitting that ball, that tantalising, yellow tennis ball.

I move with ease across the court, impossible you may have thought.

As I strike the ball, and run to the net, I feel exhilarated and briefly forget.

I feel better when I remember what I’ve achieved, more than I could have ever believed.

I’m so much more than this new facet of me, this thing which they simply call PD.

I feel better when… I am in open countryside

The earth steadies my feet and is my foundation

The trees create a loving embrace around me

The sky opens my eyes to the ‘infinite possibilities born of faith’

And the air invites me to breathe in life and breathe out any darkness within

When I walk within nature’s kingdom

I feel her gently calling me to let go of all my cares and worries;

like a good friend, she listens to the troubles of my heart

Soothes my soul..

and in returning from the walk..

I am refreshed, re-energised

More balanced and centred

Alive, and glad of it.

Where have I been these years just past?

Where has my soul resided?

In nowhere land,

on nowhere shore

In nightmare days collided

The birds no longer seemed to sing,

The living earth suspended.

I’ve journeyed through quicksand and fog, with trusting arms extended.

Can it be true,

do eyes deceive,

Is there light amid the darkness?

Coming closer day by day

Showing signs of progress.

And birdsong,

music to my ears as life springs forth from dull brown earth,

exploding into rich full bloom.. does quieten slowly all my fears.

Sunshine on my skin, nourished and warm

Feeling the grass tickle my toes

And the low hum of summer in the background

Body and mind rested, the moment enough

Feeling the grass tickle my toes

A smile creeping across my face

Body and mind rested, the moment enough

Just being here

A smile creeping across my face I get up and dance

Just being here

The excitement of life fizzing through I get up and dance

And the low hum of summer in the background

The excitement of life fizzing through

Sunshine on my skin, nourished and warm

I see your smile and it lifts my heart to a place I had forgotten.

That carries me through. It is enough

To know that your smile is still inside you.

It may be dormant, Possibly drowning, But still a part of you that I thought had been lost.

I see your spark and it connects with me deep inside.

When I feel your love

And you accept mine

Then anything is possible.

So don’t give up, Never give in.

We will do this together because you are my child and I will always love you.

I feel better when I’m with you.

You’re sort of mean when you’re tired

And the later it gets, the more annoying I get.

If you could, you’d play video games all day

And I’d watch the same news on repeat.

You like the music stuff with real instruments

And I’m partial to the stuff I made up dance routines to the other year.

But still, I feel better when I’m with you.

Your long legs twisted with my short ones

Under a mountain of blankets, in our bed.

You letting me recite Clueless along with the TV,

Before I submit to films that you’d kill me for naming.

Hours lapping up obscure Eastern European pop from my childhood,

Followed by more of me devouring country music you discovered.

Because I feel better when I’m with you.

Our issues make us broken, individually

But whole, together.

All I know is, we don’t save each other,

But we make it easier to save ourselves.

I feel better when I’m with you.

The breeze Good health, surrounding and comforting. Nurturing and encompassing, like the summer breeze blowing through the meadow grass. Hang on to the breeze, keep it in the meadow. Respect it and cherish it, Refuse to let it go. Keep the fresh breeze blowing, refreshing your health. let it go, only when it’s time. If you let your health go it will run off into the city. Into the fumes, into the congestion. Choking, suffocating blowing through the gutters. Blowing less and blowing weaker All blown out. Take control of your health, Keep it blowing in the meadow.

I feel better when I tell jokes

I feel better when I turn up to either work or college

I feel better when I’m not broke

I feel better when I extremely give better knowledge

I feel better when I make friends

I feel better when I’m so full of luck

I feel better when nothing ends although (when it does) no one gives a (bleep)

I feel better when I participate

I feel better when I give communication

I feel better when I anticipate in everything for my situation

I feel better when I get rich

I feel better when I have a whole load of money But what’s worse is that life’s a (bleep) and (when I run out of cash) it’s so not funny

I feel better when I am with my daughter and Fiancé Lewis and I feel much better when I not sad or upset

I feel happy when I see my puppy poppy and my dog Otis

I feel better when I am with my friends because we go out to town to go shopping

I feel better when me and my daughter do loads of puzzles at home and read her stories

I feel better when I play my Playstation.

I feel better I’m watching a movie.

I feel better when I listen to music.

I feel better going to football.

My place

Its a view that could swallow you, in a place where country fields are draped in patchwork squares.

Into a quilt of green and scorched brown earth.

Where the blue sky is flecked brown with starlings that dance in circles and shadows.

Where Cotton ball clouds lie fat and proud beneath me.

Where I can look down on a Lilliput town, smaller than it seemed before.

I can see the roads and fields I have walked across to finally stand tall again.

I am always alone here

Making daisy chains from buttercups. not a person can be found.

Not a car or a house

Or a light or trace

Of a sound

Could search me out.

Where the hill tops meet the sky and carry me high at my place.

You think of me when something’s good–

you phone to share delight

and you think me of when something’s hard

knowing that in the sharing you might

find you feel better.

I feel better when you’re near me.

I feel better when I know

that you are travelling towards me,

soon I’ll hear you say hello.

The hug that holds me close.

The touch of your cheek against mine.

The knowing that you know

all those little things about me

and still you think I’m fine.

The little things about you.

The smile that I return

not because I do not want it

but in giving I have learned

there is receiving.

I feel better when you’re near me.

I feel better when I know

that you are travelling towards me,

soon I’ll hear you say hello.

I value you my friend

through the good times and the hard.

You regale me with your knowledge

and your music and your laugh

and I would not be without you.

No, I would not be without you.

I feel better when I’m eating any food.

I feel better when I’m playing my Xbox with my friends.

I feel better when I’m at my girlfriends.

I feel better when I’m drinking any alcohol.

I feel better when I’m jumping into rivers and lakes of high bridges.

I feel better when I’m exploring abandoned and derricked buildings.

l feel better when I’m out with my friends on my bike l feel better when I’m spending money on stuff I don’t need

l feel better when I’m fishing

She recognised the signs

Quiet, slight agitation

Wanting to be alone

She wanted me to open up

Her plan of action

Was to take me

For a drive

A drive away from home

A drive to destination unknown

A drive where she drove

A drive where I talked

She questioned, she quizzed

She clarified and probed

I provided the details

She poised over minor details

Until we both agreed a plan

She smiled

I half smiled

She made me open up

She made me speak up

She eased away my anxiety

Until the symptoms came around the next time

A lifetime’s clutter In a house

That he could barely move in

Represented who he is now

Everything has a purpose

Everything has a use

You never know when it may come in use

He would say

Until one day

Help came to clear it up

Removed his clutter

Into skips

To make it manageable

To make it a no fire risk

To make it like a home again

To make it safe

To enable him to walk safely without a fall

To enable him to take one item of everything rather than 3

To enable him to take control

To enable him make decisions in his best interests

To make him feel alive again

As I stand here in awe at the beauty I see

I feel and listen to all that surrounds me

The rolling waves, the pull of the sea the wet sand in my toes fills me with glee

The distant clouds, the rocks far away the wind in my hair on a summers day

I stand here and wander deep in thought

I feel the happiness in my heart I want to run, kick and splash along with the waves that rollingly crash

The bubbles the white foam I race among the birds up above singing their song but I stand still deep in thought feeling the sun on my skin making me hot

I’m happy, I’m free to love all that I see for I am here, and here’s where I’m meant to be deep in thought in this moment of time grateful for the simple things, the hot sunshine, the wind in my hair, the vision I see Is nature’s untouched beauty

I look at the clouds fluffy and light

I curl up my toes in the sand real tight

The swishing and swirling in between my toes the salty spray goes up my nose I stand I wonder how many fish the birds have caught?

There are said to be 84,000 parts of the Buddha in the world.

But he is not in pieces.

I am filled with truth and lies, but I am not afraid of delusion.

I am not blind.

My mind awakens.

My atoms vibrate and break their bonds, but I am whole.

Like the Buddha I am Mindful of my senses.

They are a compass on which my ship sails.

My thoughts wander, but I feel better when I’m aware.

There are many forms to take, many hats to wear, many roads to travel.

But I am always me, I am not a fraud, I am forever here.

I look forward not backward.

I am filled with a sense of wellbeing.

I am human, imperfect, and Like the Buddha, I shall become a a piece of everything—the light.

She invited me Inside her head

To a world she had created

To a world Where she was in control

To a world Where she was not a lost soul

To a world Where she was not an outcast

To a world Where she was not unloved

She gave me permission to explore

To touch, to feel, to smell

She protected herself Against rejection Against crushing disappointment

She stepped into her fear

She stepped into her discomfort

She painted it with colours of her choice

She brightened up her dull world.

I had cultivated a place for myself

By moving away from others

By moving away from the noise

It was my heaven on earth

I was learning

I was beginning to learn

To switch off

To disassociate myself

From people who harmed

From people who are fake friends

From people who do not care

Instead I found my own oasis

A place that is mine

A place that I am willing to share with others

I have stamped my imprint

All over it

To enable me

To find quiet

In a world

Full of noise

I need quiet

To think, to reflect

To grow

I feel better when …

The trust of the human spirit Fills me with hope

A natural bond of free flung strength Frees me and makes me float …

I get a natural smile To guide me in the rush. I really hope there’s someone there who ll bring me natural blush …

my thoughts and actions come, unite and blend to give a soothing warming touch and feel to those I see as friends …

I can laugh and giggle With like-minded folk With innocence and Inner sense to further Guide our hope.

Summer ’16 floating by, whilst looking through my child’s eye, I’m dreaming.

Backwards roads won’t bruise my soul, an angel looks over as she grows, her beauty shows, it’s gleaming.

When these people don’t deserve her time, and waste her life without a sign, of changing – I will show you what it is to rise.

For every time you look my way, I hear your voice to plead escape, It will always hold that secret place, I’ll keep you safe – believe me.

For I do not need to shout and scream my love, to make you feel like I’m the only one, that sees you – silently I will wait my turn, in karma I trust that these lights will guide you home, so brightly.

Don’t rub those little tired eyes, as the dust will fall and path your cries, with blossom of a spring to come, a warmth of summers yet begun.