I shall write a radio play

I shall write a radio play

I shall write a radio play,
because I wanted to write one years ago
because I love listening to radio dramas
because I borrowed a radio script once
and lost it , I feel bad about that
because I’d promised to return it
because I used to love amateur dramatics,
because I like writing dialogue
because I want to write something
different to poetry
because I can feel the button of the radio
as I press it to hear my play
and I feel better

Leaving

I reach up and press the button
I push the door open
I pass the office window
and go through the outer door
as I walk over the path
and on to the car park
I know I will never
go through that door again.
Twenty years of memories,
mostly joyous, but, no regrets
I’m sure and I feel better.

Sarah Jane

We’d had ‘words’, she invalided
severely crippled with arthritis
hardly able to move alone

me, only daughter coping
best I could; part time jobs,
student husband, new town

grabbed baby, plopped her
into weary old Silver Cross.
“YOU’RE ALWAYS THERE!”

My outburst startled each of us;
exiting without a backward glance
I heaved the front door shut behind.

Fresh air, a stroll around parkland
birdsong, happy dogs and walkers
diffuse the situation. We go home.

It’s a mixture of anger and shame.

Thank God happy baby beams
at Grandma in her comfy chair.

Focused on her Mills and Boon
she says softly “Kettle’s boiled”.

Words dissolve like sugar in tea as we drink silently together.

Forty years on in my mind’s eye there’s
a stalwart defying excruciating pain
carrying out a simple task.

You struggled from chair to wheelchair
You stubbornly reached the kitchen sink
Your determination picked up the kettle
Your tenacity held on while it filled
Your generosity tricked us – nearly.

Lament of the Struggling Artist, or, not all impossible tasks are that onerous

I just feel better when I know I’ve failed
and drawings I complete seem a disgrace
when ‘beauty’ from my pen on paper’s paled
against the real thing I find in your face
when amateurish efforts to record
your smile and all you have to make my day
result in what is obviously flawed
as if my talent has all leached away
I grasp the chance to stare at you again
and hope your life in charcoal form’s retained
or in plan B, the different form of rhyme
my faults demand I see you one more time

Forever my intent and you aren’t matched
as confirmation, see the proof attached

Maybe

posted in: Poems 2016 | 0

I feel better when I am aligned

And I am,

at times,

times I cherish I try and hold on to their memory

When the chaos descends

When I feel out of sync

Disjointed,

out on a limb

If there are moments and elements

Of who I can and want to be

A me that is light and at peace

Then it’s a definite possibility

They could grow and form

One day, maybe, become my norm

Feeling Blue.

I bend down,
pick up the tiny gem.
Reflecting the sea,
polished by shells,
I feel its smoothness against my hand.
An animal’s eye,
a mermaid’s jewel,
fallen from a necklace of history,
what story does it tell?
Sunny day blue.
It lifts my spirits,
I’d dragged myself out,
my will had fought back,
it took everything to open that door;
now the tiny piece of glass shines in my hand.
I was angry,
I was upset,
now the tiny piece of glass shines in my hand.
A treasure to treasure.
The grey mist rises,
the sandy footsteps walk out my despondency,
in my palm the tiny bead shares its strength,
the lid is lifting.

The River

A thousand years this river ran,
Alone and lost like me.
I climb the rail this empty night,
One step will set me free.

I throw my phone and watch it fade,
The water far below.
The words they send won’t hurt me now,
They’re just a distant glow.

But a little voice says
Oh, don’t go,
Don’t throw it all away.
The love you seek will be with you,
Just wait another day.

I’m on the edge, the devil’s choice,
The two unwelcome worlds.
But then a sound behind me and
I hold the rail and turn.

An old man leans upon the rail,
He finds it hard to breathe.
He speaks to me with sad, dark eyes,
“Son, wait a moment, please”.

I want to jump, to get away,
But something in his voice.
“When I was young, I stood here too,
And made a better choice”.

And a little voice says
Oh, don’t go,
Don’t throw it all away.
The love you seek will be with you,
Just wait another day.

He offers me a cup of tea,
A biscuit and a chat,
And as we walk, and talk of life,
I can’t help thinking that,

The angels come in many forms,
Not just with wings of feather.
It’s funny how a friendly face,
Can leave me feeling better.

Experience

It was what it was, I know that now
although at the time, I didn’t know how
to ignore the fizz of lightning,
the temper of storms,
I didn’t know then that the temper was yours…
I do now.

At first it was passion, a tidal flood
of ideas and intentions, all of them good,
we were going to change things, give people a choice,
but later I knew that the only voice
we heard was yours.
I know now.

It took a long time for the bruises to heal,
the scars of the battle are something you feel
until friends come calling smiling bright,
the screams and nightmares fade with the light
of people you trust.
I know now, and feel better when I don’t see you.

The Battle

posted in: Poems 2016 | 0

Restless troubles pierce my mind

As an arrow punctures flesh

Thoughts rush like blood from torn skin

The battle has begun

A cruel weakness renders me unable to fight

And the wound begins to hurt

I cry.

I cry in vain

I reach for my armour and clothe myself in recovery

I close my eyes and calmly surrender to the chaos all around

I’ve been at battle before

And I have been the victor

I lie in the midst of the angst

I will not be taken as a casualty

And then serenity

A renewed energy washes over me, like a lifeless body rising from the dust

Wounds heal as quickly as they tore

And although I’ll wear my battle scars for ever more

The White flag is waved

Peace is restored

Butterfly

posted in: Poems 2016 | 0

Just as the butterfly emerges from a cocoon

So I emerge from recovery

My wings now bright and beautiful

My body now set free

And just as the butterfly dances in the sun kissed sky

I too find joy in expressing my unique creativity

And just as the butterfly finds peace amongst the flowers

I too find serenity in delicate friendships

And just as the butterfly shows magnificence in her transformation

I too feel better when I embrace the changes on life’s journey

And just as the butterfly inspires with her tiny but majestic being

I too discover a gift of gentle inspiration

And I use it to write this poem

Just Do It

Watching birds makes me happy.
I know they don’t care.
They just eat all the seed
Then they take to the air.
But they do me no harm
And I know if I could
Fly away
Just like them
Then I would………..
Well I might…………
Probably wouldn’t really…………
Oh just shut up and feed the birds.

Unique

posted in: Poems 2016 | 0

I used to think I was different

Now I see I am unique

I have a special place

In the vibrant world we live

I watch the world go by

Each and every morning

All the different people

With their different stories

A unique mind

A unique story

One which I’ll hold

One which I’ve told

One which is mine

And mine alone

I know I’m strong

I’ll keep fighting on

I used to think I was different

Anxiety gripped my mind

Frightened to be myself

I let life pass me by

But now I’ve found some happiness

I thought this could never be

Time heals us somehow

We find a way to break free

A unique mind

A unique story

One which I’ll hold

One which I’ve told

One which is mine

And mine alone

I know I’m strong

I’ll keep fighting on ‘cause we all need understanding

We need the space just to ‘be’

To be heard and tell our story

How we managed to break free

To accept ourselves for who we are

The strength in what we’ve survived

Inspiring others to do the same to hold our heads up high

Outside I Am Free

posted in: Poems 2016 | 0

Summer drifts by slowly

The sun is yellow and bright Warm weather most days

And the beautiful sky at night Summer turns into Autumn

The leaves turn orange and brown

Crunching the leaves with my boots

On the way to town

Outside I am free

With nature I’m at peace

On my windowsill I plant some tiny seeds of

Rosemary, basil and Thyme Watch them grow over weeks

I watch the clouds floating past

From my windowsill I look over the buildings

See the birds flying low

Outside I am free

With nature I’m at peace

Winter creeps and it’s freezing

The air is damp and cold

I think of all the good times waiting

I let the New Year unfold I wrap up warm in my coat

Go outside today I breathe out frosty air

I know that spring is not far away

Outside I am free With nature I’m at peace

Right Now

I know that I feel nicer when I’ve spicy food inside of me I find that I feel finer when my furry feline fusses me It’s likely I’ll feel lovely if I live and love wholeheartedly I can tell I feel terrific when those troubles aren’t to mind And I kind of feel contented when I’m cosy on my own But I bet I’m even better when I get a letter from a friend. Write soon.