Do you remember

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Do you remember that summer?

Together in Corsica

We drove the winding roads

Through the coral sunbeat mountains

To the coast of Cargèse.

I’ll never forget the beach

Where we laughed together for hours

On that peaceful afternoon.

We were the only ones

Lying there

You, me, mam and pap

And oh how we laughed at her – a mummy

Wrapped like that, in her cream pashmina

Hiding from grains that danced with the wind

And at him

For, well… just being him

In those shorts and with that hat

Do you remember?

Running on the warm sand with me

To where the little boats lay tired and thirsty

We sat on their edge

Drawing stars in the sand with our toes

And we left them there

As a thank you note for the night sky

For always being there to wish upon

So when I need to, I go back there

Back to Corsica

With you

Between the mountains and the sea

Dancing on those little boats

Where all that mattered was just to be

I feel better when I am… (Me)

posted in: Poems 2014 | 0

I feel better when I am… me…

And shout it from rooftops in a decree

Ahoy over there – I’m just me!

I’m peaceful and happy and oh so calm

Especially on a beach under a palm.

Smell the sea air and hear the soft waves

To be in the sun is what my heart craves.

On UK soil I do love it still

Standing on top of big Hampstead Hill

Or taking a walk round London’s Soho

What an adventure watching people rush to and fro.

Sipping my latte, mocha or tea;

There’s nothing like feeling that my heart is free.

Free to explore the wold that is mine

And knowing my place in this world is of my design

I feel better when I am… (an eagle).

posted in: Poems 2014 | 0

I feel better when I am… (an eagle).

 

An eagle does not belong in a cage and it’s not for me,

Let me out of the 9-5, that’s my plea!

To soar above the trees and the hills;

Without the care of green dollar bills.

To strike at a target with power, focus and fervour

Not to be just the grey office server…

of tea and coffee, “ one lump or two?”

It’s a waste of my talent, they haven’t a clue!

It’s up to me to release my chains,

…to show the world, that I too have brains!

It’s my fault really, I’ve stayed for too long!

I’ve stifled the call of my bird song.

That’s now behind and the future beckons,

No longer do I accept any sloppy seconds.

I now live life with hope, wonder and a dream;

All of this with a love supreme,

…to take a great photo and make money too,

But most of all to make my heart true,

True to the eagle and pioneer

To push on through ‘cos my dream is clear.

Beautiful Shores

posted in: Poems 2014 | 0
Fly kites along the shore
           amid rocks and the salty air
picnic under the blinking stars
relax by a sycamore tree and
stand with friends though they stand
       no more I am the
               maiden of my imagination
     dive a thousand leagues
beneath the waves
and dine at eventide
by the light of the moon
side by side with nothing between
us but distant voices
        beautiful thoughts roar though
                       my beauty wilts
                       these playful
                       pleasures are all I have
she kissed me like war
the riddle of my life was a
bugle call because
experience made me poor
but I learned to trust God
          and now I feel fine
          I am no longer the Observer
          I have crossed the Ocean
David Holloway (c) 2015

I feel better when I can, So here’s the plan…

posted in: Poems 2014 | 0

I will try hard to…

Say ‘No’ to others

Not get involved in other peoples or ‘the worlds’ dilemmas and situations

I will be the watcher

I will let it happen at a distance

I will continue to construct ‘my’ very own safe space!

 

I feel better when I can

So here’s the plan…

I will try hard to…”

Start a new Chapter.

I will accept what has happened

I will not waste precious life energy worrying, predicting the ‘now’

Or putting right the past!

I will not think, say

I am stupid, worthless, mad, a loony or not worthy of others medical time and support-or even a nuisance!

 

I feel better when I can

So here’s the plan…

I Will try hard to…”

Bring complete attention, acceptance and trust to the present experience,

Be accepting of how it is now, on a moment-to-moment basis

BUT this is not always easy in my world

I can’t always agree to this!

 

I WILL feel better when I can

Gather up my shattered, scattered dreams

I will put together a life I truly love!

I will not feel guilty but continue to learn how to be kind to myself.

This is a much better use of my time and breath…

 

Sometimes the smallest step in the right direction,

Even a tip toe if it helps,

 

Will end up being the

BIGGEST, MOST HONEST and IMPORTANT

Step of your life…

But take that step!!

I did!

So here’s my plan…

If I hadn’t taken that tiny step or chosen to ‘tell all’, trust a very dedicated professional and very special individual…

A person I have been able to cry buckets in front of

Told things I am not proud of

BUT learned to laugh a lot along the way with to J

Someone who knew how to nurture and re programme me

Even if has taken ‘ANOTHER’ week longer

When I say ‘how’ again!!!!! Or what’s the plan..?

He has given me the tools and tool box to go it alone,

If I hadn’t had access to him then you wouldn’t be reading this now,

The start of my fourth chance at LIFE!

I will stand again

I’ll  feel better when I can

A calm sea breeze

posted in: Poems 2014 | 0

A calm sea breeze

When the waves brush the sand

A smile from a stranger

A friend’s helping hand

A sky sewn with stars

On a clear winter’s evening

A walk along an open road

A letter full of meaning

A pocket firmly lined with dreams

When things are getting tough

A dose of great music

To smooth out all the rough

A view from the mountain top

When the climb’s been steep

All happy moments

Forever yours to keep

The sun

posted in: Poems 2014 | 0

As the rain falls down the windows

A thousand fragile tears

Slipping uncontrollably

Painting a tangible picture

With their familiar words

I look out to sea

The sun sits faintly on the horizon

It’s nature’s way of telling me

That it will all be ok

…With my neighbour’s cat

posted in: Poems 2014 | 0

She comes tap-tapping at my door
And oh how my heart does soar
As when I approach to let her in
Her tail lifts in grateful greeting.

Then in she pads, so full of grace,
Meowing until I lift her to my face
And plant a kiss upon her head
When she’ll start to purr instead.

Gently I place her back down
And now she wants to play the clown,
Rolling over and weaving around my legs
– Come on, give me more fuss, she begs.

Eventually she settles on my knee,
Vibrating away contentedly;
I talk to her softly about my troubles,
Them drifting off in paw shaped bubbles.

I feel better when I can

posted in: Poems 2014 | 0

I will try hard to…

Say ‘No’ to others

Not get involved in other peoples or ‘the worlds’ dilemmas and situations

I will be the watcher

I will let it happen at a distance

I will continue to construct ‘my’ very own safe space!

 

I feel better when I can

So here’s the plan…

I will try hard to…”

Start a new Chapter.

I will accept what has happened

I will not waste precious life energy worrying, predicting the ‘now’

Or putting right the past!

I will not think, say

I am stupid, worthless, mad, a loony or not worthy of others medical time and support-or even a nuisance!

 

I feel better when I can

So here’s the plan…

I Will try hard to…”

Bring complete attention, acceptance and trust to the present experience,

Be accepting of how it is now, on a moment-to-moment basis

BUT this is not always easy in my world

I can’t always agree to this!

 

I WILL feel better when I can

Gather up my shattered, scattered dreams

I will put together a life I truly love!

I will not feel guilty but continue to learn how to be kind to myself.

This is a much better use of my time and breath…

 

Sometimes the smallest step in the right direction,

Even a tip toe if it helps,

 

Will end up being the

BIGGEST, MOST HONEST and IMPORTANT

Step of your life…

But take that step!!

I did!

So here’s my plan…

If I hadn’t taken that tiny step or chosen to ‘tell all’, trust a very dedicated professional and very special individual…

A person I have been able to cry buckets in front of

Told things I am not proud of

BUT learned to laugh a lot along the way with to J

Someone who knew how to nurture and re programme me

Even if has taken ‘ANOTHER’ week longer

When I say ‘how’ again!!!!! Or what’s the plan..?

He has given me the tools and tool box to go it alone,

If I hadn’t had access to him then you wouldn’t be reading this now,

The start of my fourth chance at LIFE!

I will stand again

I feel better when I can

Where Ever Your Life Takes You

posted in: Poems 2014 | 0

 

Where Ever Your Life Takes You

Whatever path you take in LiFe, Where Ever you have been,
Whatever you have done, May you Know, that it was you that was here;
That Lived those days,
That cried those tears,
That, in your own way, you did what you had to,
To LiVe, To Dream,
To Survive and Fulfil your Needs,
Your Goals, Your Wishes.

May you look back and Live with Empathy and also Understanding,
Towards yourself and hopefully others,
That the time you have spent here had meaning, at least to you,
That the days that have passed were sometimes good,
And somehow sometimes made up for all the bad,
That in the end, you know who you were, at least within Heart and yourself,
And that the choices you made, were made because of where you were then,
And because of who you were becoming.

So, Where Ever your LiFe takes you,
Where ever you path does lead;
Let it be you,
Let it be you who really decides which cross-roads to turn,
And if you have no choice,
At least then, Let it be you who lives within your Heart,
Smiles those smiles, cry’s those tears,
And then, at least;

Within Your Own Mind;

Knows you You Are.

The Beautiful Pain

posted in: Poems 2014 | 0

 

The Beautiful Pain

You Felt, you Cried, you Embraced the Pain of the World.
You saw, how others felt and struggled, lived and died;
Then in your Heart, a Glow did Spark,
The Pain was so much, too much to bare.

Deep, deep connection to the Suffering of Life,
And in a magical moment something magnificent happened.
A Great Cry was Heard, No More No More,
And with that pain, you Transformed it into something so Beautiful,
Something so Real, something so Heartfelt and Profound.

You took that Pain, and by God did you feel it,
Yet, you did not turn it upon others,
You did not force others to feel this pain that you so felt.
Yet, instead, you Transformed it,
Condensed it together and turned it into Love. Higher love.

This Pain became a Rage, and the rage became a Devotion,
A longing, a commitment, a Whole Soul Felt decision to no longer be part,
To no longer create or spread this hurt any further,
To no longer be part of this pain-giving World.

So instead, you sawt to be a vessel, a vehicle of Love, of Kindness,
Compassion and Understanding,
So, you could not be part of a messed up human world and society,
So you would not add and contribute to all the suffering and fierce hurt,
That Life does so often bring.
So you could spread the Light of Kindness into the Hearts of All you came across.

And Why?
Because you saw, you felt, you knew, you Understood,

Their, your own, this Worlds;
Beautiful Pain.

Lightwood`s Fire

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Lightwood`s fire

In the height of summer

I sat under the mighty beech

with a warm breeze

stroking the lush ferns

and dispensing light relief

from the walk up.

Sitting on the stone surrounding the fire

I remind myself

of the age of the place

and my inconsequential nature

that feeling you get

when you are pleased to be alive

and take no living thing for granted.

My Buxton friends say this is a place

for wild camping; I trust them for their word.

The bridge in need of repair as it falls into the stream

the derelict old pump outhouse deeper into the valley.

A reservoir as once was, a place to escape the bustle now.

These images are for sketches, I have only words.

I fell for this place, though didn’t make it to the peak,

for the next trip for sure.

John Yates August 2014

Across the Leam from Mill Gardens

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Across the Leam from Mill Gardens

 

The clock drips from the parish church.

As I cross the bridge

to Jephson Gardens

it is early February

and the pigeons remain unfed by council decree.

Mind your head”

the entrance to the underpass reads

the only piece of graffiti left in this oh so heavenly place.

Mothers walk their babies

this as every morning in Royal Leamington Spa.

Operatives tend the grounds

to ill- afford the prices in this town so high.

A Lady with dirty petticoats” alongside Edinburgh

once described, a fairytale town with Cinderella absent,

a beauty with a mole or two.

But, did Victoria with all her majesty foresee

that behind all the façades and the remnants of imperial glory

lingers young people robbing the well-heeled for the next hit?

Leamington, my home, that saved me a spiral downwards……

Now I rise ever mindful of the pitfalls, ever mindful of knowing my position

in the order of things.

John Yates 2014

Imagine Me

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Imagine
If I were different
If I were better
If I were mended

Imagine
If I were stable
Able
To cope
All the time

Imagine that

Imaginary friends
Defriended

Image Consciousness
Gone and unashamed

Imagined Voices
Silenced

Imagine that

I’d hardly be me though, would I?
I’m me.
I’m who I want to be.
I’m trying.
I’m asking for help when I need it.
And I’m … (dare I say it)… happy with that.