posted in: Poems 2014 | 0

“I feel better when I am…”

It begs a thousand endings.

The romantic: “…with my beloved”

The practical: “…fed and warm”

The humorous: “…probably not a newt”

The holy: “…struck far reeling by zip-crunch-sting of frost on my feet and night on my teeth and the stars and the stars and the stars and the-“


The start can also be a complete sentence.


“i feel better when i AM”, you see,

when I am me and my self is brewed strong hot and in the world,

when the ghost world (doubting) leaves no worse footsteps then, oh, THEN…

I am.

Do you see?

The me I am

and how much better that feels?


There’s an end tucked in there too.

(after the fretting and restringing)

(the mistaken misshapen missteppings)

(the whithers/ whethers/ whatevers all noise and gasping no i no see)

Therein lies a neat universe, coiled.

There, the sleek contented arrival at journey’s root:

“i FEEL, better, when i am”.

I feel, alive (breathe)

I feel, strong (eat)

I feel, deep (drink)

For one breakout heartbeat, under sky, over earth, I…

I feel… more than Before.

I feel… more than Ever.

(and love)





This Cinderelly Nonsense

posted in: Poems 2014 | 0

Home is where the heart is, they say,

They who are not me or you or anyone we know

Yet I think they got it right, just a little right this time.


Home is where the hearth is, you say, joking,

While the flames lick warm orange around us

And I think there must, there surely must be magic in these slippers.


Home is where the heart’s hearth smoulders.

That space where you curl up, a sleepy comma on my chest,

While I think, “ach there’s no place, there is no place so sweet”

Up To Me

posted in: Poems 2014 | 0

Everything apart from

The kitchen sink
Going home taking what I own
I’ll put my arms around
Whoever I please
My own set of keys
I’ll go out whenever I choose
Won’t make the news
I might go to the offy
Or stay in drinking coffee
You know what’s best for me
So do I
But it’s up to me
It’s actually harder
Being free than inside
And trying to be kind
To the gym to unwind
Find the missing link to rethink
Or to mind to confined


posted in: Poems 2014 | 0

I’ve got to get it off my chest

I tried my best
I did everything that was
Asked of me
I planted trees
I recycled
I learnt about disciples
I went to church
Never left my family
In the lurch
Played cleaned
I redeemed
Why was I treated bad
Was it pay back
Or tit for tat
But now people are
Treating me better
Smiling at me
I’m free
If all is forgiven
I won’t stay in oblivion
One good turn deserves another
These years are no tougher
Chuckling because now were not suffering

Unseen angel

posted in: Poems 2014 | 0

The joy that she feels through beings unseen,

So calm and at peace so flawlessly serene.

When life draws the curtains but the light disappears,

Things seem perplexing and in creep the fears.

Wings start to appear though not in physical form,

But in the light of her eyes the beauty after the storm.

The feeling of comfort just by knowing she is near,

The joy that I feel just because you are here.


posted in: Poems 2014 | 0


Are you glad to be here on this earthly sphere
Do you gaze at the moon in the galaxy
And wonder sometimes what’s really out there
Why we see stars that are light years away

When you look inside what is it you find
Does nature or magic ignite the fire
Set neurons dancing around in your mind
Connecting your thoughts wire to wire

I feel better when I sing Hallelujah
I feel better when you sit next to me
I feel better when we stand together
That’s when I know I will always be free

Where do you go when you don’t understand
Why certain things happen beyond your control
Truth won’t make you any less of a man
Tell me your secrets I’ll show you my soul

I feel better when I sing Hallelujah
I feel better when you sit next to me
I feel better when we stand together
That’s when I know I will always be free

Do you hide in some mythical palace
Write down your dreams in invisible ink
Walk by the sea with your dog at sunrise
Strum your guitar till the healing begins

I feel better when I sing Hallelujah
I feel better when you sit next to me
I feel better when we stand together
That’s when I know I will always be free


posted in: Poems 2014 | 0

achieving goals

receiving awards

sense of belonging

words of healing

creative writing

arts and crafts

painting rainbows

thats what makes me feel better








The Story You Tell Yourself

posted in: Poems 2014 | 0

I feel better when I believe in me.

It’s all about the story I decide to be.

When I’ve defrosted out of ice and snow.

When the grey ceiling is not so low.

I don’t know what causes it, I don’t know the trigger.

But sometimes the good things start to get bigger.

I can feel the sun and hear my friends.

Motivation and action lead to ends.

Things begin to work in the way that they wouldn’t.

I want to do things I used to feel like I shouldn’t.

The story you tell yourself is understood.

If you delude yourself make it something good.


posted in: Poems 2014 | 0


What am I but a mere visitor

To here

Of Portland’s such as these

Algarcerias, Castellar de La Frontera, A Coruña, Aberdeen

No matter where both feet wander

Whatever given trodden path

Surprisingly it all becomes more apparent

That, at times, my belonging appears false

A stranger amongst people

A stranger threading water in ones own gene pool

Occasionally happening upon a glimmer or a flicker

Of self knowing in others

Quickly fading into the abyss

A solitary moment of short lived peace


Surrounded by and sitting in a golden shaft of soft setting sunlight

In a wondrous Andalusian autumnal garden

Gazing through a brilliant blaze

To watch it crackle and spit various flamed tongues from the heaped up stack of dried detritus

My ears attune to a grazing melody of cattle bells

Tinkling pleasure notes soothing unease

Fist sized birds roosting

Chattering and chirping their flock’s tale

Curious dogs bark a lizard into hiding

A pack of three

Excitedly sniffing and whining an ancient hunter’s cry

Whilst a sister and brother

Breath together

An aged old practice

A whisper

Sleeping siesta

I breath

A belonging

I feel better when I am

posted in: Poems 2014 | 0

I feel better When I Am

racing to meet you at the café,
to share hot chocolate and soufflé,

a gold medallist in the ten thousand,
the singer in the latest boy band.

at home with my mother and father
or even my annoying sister and brother.

dancing on the dance floor
or climbing the highest sky walker.

reading all the Harry Potter books again,
queuing for the best ice cream,

jumping on my big brass bed,
doing arithmetic in my head.

looking forward to the next day,
remembering fondly yesterday

jumping out with my first parachute,
what a laugh, what a hoot.

building sand castles in the air,
playing with the curls of your hair,

holding you close when you’re afraid
giving you a gift that I have made.

hanging out with my best friends
swopping downloads just for lends.

drawing smilies in my copy book
just to get you to take a look

or texting you a good night’s kiss
wishing you a life like this

Hands Poem

posted in: Poems 2014 | 0

Hands Poem

Your marshmallow hands,
squishy talcum powder hands.
Your closed crab claw hands,
your tiny ten times smaller
pink hands saucered in my palm.
Smooth young unscratched,
unblemished skin, fingers curled,
hanging on hands.

Your dinky pinkies, your gooey
jelly baby hands, cotton wool
balls of hands, fluffy rabbit paws,
soft cream, ice cream hands,
clasping ,clutching, cosseted, closed
in mine, warm as dumplings hands.
Teeny weeny huggy bear hands,
precious to us both hands..


Gifts from The Group

posted in: Poems 2014 | 0

Gifts from The Group

You have given me;

Stars on a cloudy night

By which to find my way.

A gentle breeze upon slackened sails

During my personal doldrums.

You have given me;

The excruciating pain of shared laughter

Vibrating against a shattered rib cage.

Flash floods generated by healing tears,

by love, compassion and by friendship –

All falling too fast for my parched soul.

You have painted a rainbow

On my frozen desert skies.

Put air into my aching lungs

And placed Hope on the far horizon –

Some one hold me tight please,

Tell me it’s not a mirage.

Ali Heard

There Is Another Land

posted in: Poems 2014 | 0

There is Another Land

There is another land where the waters run clear and deep,

Where the air vibrates- brushing everything clean.

This land is carved from hugs, from warmth and smiles,

From our hopes and our joys.

This land is made for living, for sharing and giving,

For sensual touch and for love.

This land draws forth strength, compassion and vitality,

Draws forth our laughter and our sighs.

This land pulsates with life, with emotions and feelings,

Pulsates with you and with me.

This land reflects in the still waters, in our faces and in our hearts,

Reflects in the night sky and in our eyes.

It is a land where we can all belong,

For it is born out of the wholeness of a friendship true.


      Ali Heard